He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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