i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
