Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
wow bdsm is so cute
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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