Plan B is the new Plan A
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize