she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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