I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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