you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
