So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
