Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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