You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
We have so much sex to catch up on
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
