i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
