ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
