He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
