dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
It was like giving head to a cactus.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
