that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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