she looked like the bat from fern gully.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
