i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
