Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
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