Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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