I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
