You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
