I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize