There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
