I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize