this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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