PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
