It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
