This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
