will power is for people who don't want to get laid
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
