it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
