so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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