Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize