There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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