fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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