Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
