Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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