You're a womanizer and a bitch.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
