He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize