Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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