***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You ate ashes out of my bong
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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