spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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