I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
