What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
