I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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