ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I CAN MOONWALK!
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
