don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
