if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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