just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
