she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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