I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I will pee on everything he values.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
