Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
