I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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