I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
