I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
