When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize