it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
