Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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